Online Relationship Building Skills

Online Relationship BuildingOnline Relationship Building  – Building Relationships Pt. III

This post is fairly long, but full of valuable information for your consideration.

Turning a one-time Subscriber to your list into a long-term client has a lot more to do with relationship building than offering products for sale. Building relationships for the long term will be mutually beneficial to you and your subscribers. If your business is only on the internet, you have to develop your online relationship building skills.

The money is in the list” is as true as the day is long. Opt in Lists give you a group of customers who, if you do things right, will make you money. That being said, here are some ways to really shine and foster longer term relationships…

One way that I mentioned to keep in touch with your subscribers is by developing a newsletter. Today, I’ll talk more about the set up for getting your newsletter out to your readers, including basic format and tone to maximize your online relationship building.

When people sign up to your newsletter, the first email they get should be a personal message from you telling them what they can expect as a subscriber and why it’s a good idea to stay subscribed and read every single email you send them.

This is an important step that many newsletter providers miss all together. Keep in mind that your first message sets the tone for everything you do later, and is the beginning of your online relationship building. If you don’t set the right tone up front, it’s going to take you a lot longer to “warm up” your readers before they’ll buy something from you.

When you make your first few emails about them and their needs, they’ll start to wonder if you have something for them to buy. That’s a good position to be in because it puts your readers in a more receptive mood when you actually do present them with a direct offer.

Put your own agenda on hold for a minute.

Remember this… Perception is reality. In other words, whatever someone believes to be the truth is the truth to him or her.

With that in mind, isn’t it in your best interests to “control” (as much as possible) what your readers believe to be the truth? You can control (to a great extent) how people perceive and react to you by carefully presenting yourself the way you want them to see you.

If you want your readers to respond to you in a positive way, you have to give them a solid reason by giving them what they want before expecting to get what you want. This will become a lot clearer as you read on.  I see it this way – if I give my subscribers what they want and need, I’m developing trust and a faithful following.  In my mind that makes online relationship building much easier.

What does any of that have to do with creating the type of relationship with your readers that allows you to get them to buy basically anything you choose to promote?

Think about it…

People have nothing on which to base their opinions of you, other than the person/image you purposely or accidentally present for them to judge. As soon as you do the same things most of your competitors do, you get labeled as one of them – even if you’re not.

That’s why it’s so important to make your intentions crystal clear right from the start. Do something that your competition hasn’t thought of doing because they’re only thinking of themselves and what they want, not what their readers need from them first.

Believe it or not, people can pick up on your intentions.

If they can’t (because you haven’t made your intentions clearly known) they’ll just guess at what your intentions are and for whatever reason, whenever someone has to guess at what your intentions are, they will almost never think of anything positive.

Your intentions (or at least what you can get others to believe your intentions are) have the power to move them to do things for you they wouldn’t dream of doing for anyone else.

Think about this question for a minute…

Are you just trying to quietly slip into people’s email inbox or are you introducing yourself and clearly stating your intentions for being there so they can feel comfortable about letting you into their space?

Unfortunately, people have been conditioned not to expect a lot from free information. That’s what makes clearly stating your intentions an absolute must. If you don’t, people will automatically assume that you only write to them so you can send them advertising.

While that may be true, you don’t want people to believe that. Too many people are teaching you to build your list without teaching you what to do with your list as you build it.

Just about everyone who joins your list will at least read the first message you send to them and make up their minds about you based on that first email. Knowing this, doesn’t it now seem obvious that your first email is the most important and that you should do everything in your power to make sure people have the right “picture” of you and your intentions in their heads so they don’t draw their own conclusions about you?

Letting people draw their own conclusions is almost never good.

Don’t leave it up to your readers to figure out why you have a newsletter because they won’t come up with a good reason. Tell them why. Tell them why they should want to be a subscriber/stay subscribed and why they should listen to what you have to say.

Practice making that extra effort to positively influence the way you are “coming across”. Practice is the only way you’re going to learn how to do this. You will start to understand (just like I now do) that you can make people see you any way you want them to.

I’ll soon share with you three things you can do to change the way people see and respond to you. So stay tuned!


Hi Martha. You’ve been dealing with a lot lately. It must be a bit difficult to stay on top of things. I know that you’d be able to put out a great newsletter to a list and provide people with valuable information.

Paul Taubman

Grat post, Jane!

There is a lot of psychology in what you write here.. Have you read “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” by Robert B. Cialdini – it is on Amazon at

When people give your their email and name for your opt-in gift, there is a lot of psychology that goes into it! Yes it is true that if something is free people tend not to value it, and that is why it is important to follow up and provide valuable content.


Thanks so much, Paul. I value your opinion! I can’t say that I’ve read that particular book, but I’ll look into it for sure. I was taught most of what I know, and to me common sense dictates making my subscriber, client, customer my top priority. And yes, valuable content is an absolute must.


I hope you plan on doing a post about what types of info to put in a newsletter. I don’t care how long a post is, if you have good information I’ll read it all. Thanks for sharing and joining UBC

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